It is a fact that planners try to lessen the friction in their lives. This habit is rooted in the ability to think ahead to what may be needed now to make the future easier. Most of the time, I’m pretty nice to future Terri. I try to do things in the present that will make her future smooth. But every now and then that future focus will cause unintended pain.
This idea came from a chat with one of my dear friends. She was bemoaning the fact that her loved one was so negative, “It’s like the idea of a future event inspires her to complain about every detail in advance!“ I responded, “She is venting before she even has a reason–she’s PREventing!”
I’m a big believer in venting about a current or past problem to decipher the lesson in the crappy moment. This makes moving on much easier. But when you kvetch about a future event, you shape your perspective in a way that ensures a negative outcome. PREventing may prevent all manner of surprisingly delightful outcomes.
For instance, if you know me, you know that I hate parties where I think I won’t have any meaningful conversations. I can’t stand chatter. So, when my attendance is required at a fete, the moaning starts early. I attended one of these recently, and I started to PREvent about all manner of annoying possibilities. I remembered my chat and pivoted to “I’m gonna keep an open mind and quit my whingeing!“
It turned out just fine. I had a few lovely conversations and supported a friend. I left early and was home in time to get a good night's sleep, which is a must to keep up my sparkle! I was concerned about superficial chatter, but the reality is that we’re all just humans trying to get along and find a little beauty in this world. There’s nothing superficial about that.
I can’t say that there will be no whining in advance of some possibly uncomfortable social appearance. However, I am now aware of it, and I will stop to consider the cost of creating a negative bubble for my potentially positive future!
XO
Terri
