The theme for this week is a piggy back on last week’s theme of “Advice for Your Younger Self”. By the way, if the messages on our Big Board are any indication, we all want our inner girl to be more relaxed, have more fun, and listen to our mothers! For this new theme, I want you to keep picturing that little girl when you’re talking to yourself as an adult.
For most of my life, my self-talk has been 90% critical and 10% loving. I’ve spent the last 9 years methodically reversing that ratio. It’s not easy. When you’ve spent most of your life telling yourself you’re not good enough, thin enough, funny enough or experienced enough to make a difference, telling yourself anything less critical takes practice.
The first step is to notice what you’re doing in the moment of critical self talk. If the voice in your head is less than kind, STOP. Then start again. If your self-talk has been mean or critical for a long time, then that’s your habit. It’s going to take a little while to learn the language of kindness. Give yourself time and space to create a new habit.
If you get impatient, take a deep breath and imagine that you’re speaking to the little girl who lives in your head, “That’s OK, sweetie! Everything is going to be just fine. You’re doing great!” That’s a much more effective way to motivate yourself than, “You’re such an idiot! How could you have done something so stupid!” That’s how I used to talk to myself, and it made me feel like a loser. When you feel like a loser, it’s really difficult to win at anything.
Choose your words kindly, because they matter. A habit of kindness will create an atmosphere of goodwill in your head and heart. Remember to treat yourself as though you’re precious, because you are. Write your new self-talk phrases on the Big Board or drop me a line at terrif@findyourpride.org!
XO
Terri
