Out Of Africa – Part 3: Releasing

A Look Back At Girl Power For Good’s Evolution
Originally published July 31, 2013

Last week was about releasing: expectations, toiletries, and the habit of playing small.

As unrelated as this list sounds, the practice of releasing is all encompassing…just as soon as you allow it to be.

We decided to replace the cracked tile in our bathroom as well as updating the countertops… not exactly a re-model, but still quite a mess. It started Monday with an emptying out of all linens, toiletries, furniture and fixtures from our master bathroom. Since there was no place else to put it, all of these items have been in the middle of my bedroom floor for over a week. Did I mention I don’t do well with chaos?

I have an expectation that my environment needs to be perfectly orderly for me to be stress-free. Well, this week has challenged that expectation mightily. Since I’m faced with all of this chaos in my face, I decided I would try and do something about it. As the bathroom will be finished today or tomorrow, I have the opportunity to chuck a lot of old toiletries that I’ve been keeping around “just in case”. Martha Beck wrote an article on the difference between “just in case” thinking and “just when I need it” thinking. She suggested using the latter as a way to purchase items which leads to a more streamlined life. However, she did not make recommendations on how to let go of “just in case” stuff that you’ve purchased in the past (actually, she may have made recommendations, but I was too attached to my stuff to listen).

So, that’s my journey for this week. I’m not sure why I’m holding on to my “just in case” mentality. It’s not like I’m in the middle of the African bush without the ability to run to the store and pick something up. This is one vestige of my lack habit that I can do without (when I think of the word vestige, I get a picture of a vestigial tail, which is about as useful as this lack habit).

I can definitely let this go, because I survived quite nicely in the African bush with a bare minimum of unguents and potions. This was mostly because I wasn’t worried about putting on a face full of makeup to shield me; I was pretty sure that the lionesses were not going to judge me for not wearing eyeliner. I was also certain that the people at Londolozi would not care, because they are more concerned with rebuilding the earth and educating its citizens than whether or not aubergine is the new black. I felt more at home there because of that focus. Now I see that the ability to maintain that focus is up to me. All it takes is releasing old habits I developed at a time when a shield of makeup, fashion, and biting sarcasm was necessary to protect the optimistic creative muse who lives within me.

Creativity sometimes requires vulnerability and a belief in things that aren’t rational. My playing small is linked to my tendency to run from anything that requires me to open up and be vulnerable. When I let my “rational” self run the show, I would use that rationality to run from magic. It was not comfortable for me to be vulnerable, because I wasn’t on my right path, surrounded by like-minded people. So I hid my light for fear that someone or something would blow it out. But that is no longer the case. I am on my path to spread the Power of the Pride to teenage girls and their moms. I can feel the universe lining up to support my authentic self. It started with the cracking open of the vaudevillian soft shoe dancer in Africa, and now I’m at the point where I’m questioning how good this can really get. I spent the last 3 days with my Dream Team birthing a vision of where I want my business to go (stay tuned for more details:). The vision is nothing less than an empire built upon the desire to help women, young and older, empower themselves and each other. However, now that I have this vision, my days of playing small and questioning my value are over. I have used playing small as another vehicle to flee from my own magic. But now, I have a manifesto that is too good and too important to run from; this is bigger than I am…this is Girl Power world domination!

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